Blogs, updates, thoughts

All female fans are not thirsty

Many are just fans of our music.

For fellas who do music, seeing an attractive lady's friend request on Facebook or getting a direct beeline hug offer/photo request from a certain type at a concert many times elicits an internal trigger that says "yo she's feeling me." It can definitely be an ego thing, but many times its just an unbalanced approach to interacting with women. We have to do our best to fight that internal trigger.

There's something to the concept of celebrity. When your talent gives you a platform, whatever perceived notion we carry of being well-known or famous affects how we interact with people. I've seen it play out in local bands that only do in-state venues/regional travel; of course the further the span of notoriety the more evident the affect. One of the primary culturally driven aspects of doing music is this portrayal of the "rockstar" lifestyle. You'd find one of the top 3 perks of the "rockstar" is the groupie element. Being on stage and being seen seems to create this expectation that you will capture the attention of some emotionally vulnerable female just waiting to fall into your arms because your music is so incredible.

Now, let me pause and be clear---this groupie element is ALIVE AND REAL. It not only applies to musicians/artists, but to anyone with a platform or influence. The point I'm getting to is to hopefully help us understand that it doesn't apply to every woman everywhere, and that it can have a negative impact on how we interact with women who enjoy our music.

While I am approaching this issue as a Christ-following man, I am in no way going to asterisk our conduct as if we've handled this better than our "worldly" artist contemporaries. We get the same temptations, and just because we don't immediately act without a struggle with our conscience (in best case scenarios), it doesn't reduce the level of wrong. We've got to make concerted efforts to treat female fans with respect.

I have a baby sister. I've been a tough love type of older brother with her, and if you ask her, she'll tell you I was a meanie...and it wouldn't be entirely untrue haha. However, I Love my sister dearly and since she was little, I have spent nights imagining all the types of ways I would defend her if any type of harm would come her way. We should regard the ladies who like our music with the same emphasis of protection. If we truly value these gals, we should prayerfully consider how we can best serve them in light of a hyper-sexed artist environment that wants to abuse them for sexual pleasure. But even if we're still bent on sticking with a surface-view of women that categorizes them as vulnerable, emotionally driven human beings with clearly seen insecurities, it's even furthermore our responsibility to guard them against US. If some of us got a DM or inbox FB message from them, we'd be immediately be faced with a conundrum we're not ready for.

Let's make the end game emphasis on respect and protection. Let's guard our hearts and talk to other men about our struggles. These are our sisters, and even if they are not in the Body we can relish in an opportunity to display godly conduct. We're not just artists for artistry's sake. Music doesn't automatically entitle us to intimacy because we're talented. Get your Captain American shield and get the guard up.